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  • “WELCOME TO LANCASTER. THE PARIS OF THE NORTH!”
  • “LANCASTER'S NATIONAL DRESS: THE SIDE BUTTONED CHEQUERED TABARD.”
  • “EVERY HOUSE IN LANCASTER HAS A MOSAIC OF THEIR NAME ON THE FRONT STEP. IT'S JUST THE WAY WE ROLL.WE ALSO HAVE DANDELION AND BURDOCK DELIVERED BY THE MILK MAN.”
  • “THIS IS THE CITY CENTRE'S MARKET SQUARE. RIP LITTLEWOODS, JAYMAX AND THE CO-OP. HERE IS OUR FRIEND TONY IN THE FOREGROUND. HE LOOKS LIKE HE IS IGNORING US. HE WAS.”
  • “WELCOME TO THE STOP SMOKING SHOP. CLOSED ON TUESDAYS.”
  • “LANCASTER MARKET TOBACCONISTS AT YOUR SERVICE!”
  • “SMACK BANG IN THE MIDDLE OF TOWN IS HMP BUTLINS. IT SHUT LAST YEAR.”
  • “TO BE WORN UNDER THE SIDE BUTTONED CHEQUERED TABARD. KEEP IT FULL. KEEP IT REAL.”
  • “SHOPS SELLING AUTOGRAPHS DON'T DO RIGHT WELL IN LANCASTER.”
  • “PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE IN LANCASTER FEELS LIKE THIS AT SOME POINT IN THE DAY.”
  • “IF IN DOUBT DUMP!”
  • “LANCASTER MUSICIANS CO-OP. IT IS A REHEARSAL ROOM AND RECORDING STUDIO. WE RECORD ALL OUR RECORDS HERE. THEY LIKE RED.”
  • “EVEN OUR ALLEYWAYS ARE ROCK AND ROLL AND FULL OF DEATH. GORDON BURN'S OF BBC NW TONIGHT LIKES TO HANG OUT HERE.”
  • “THIS IS KATHY'S HAIRDRESSERS. IT IS OUR FAVOURITE ONE IN LANCASTER.”
  • “FINE DINING IN LANCASTER. TWO FOR ONE!”
  • “AND AFTERWARDS WHY NOT GO UP WEST AND TAKE IN A SHOW!”
  • “UP THE HIP HOP REVOLUTION! IT HAS JUST ARRIVED IN LANCASTER!”
  • “WE LIKE OUR WOTSITS IN LANCASTER. CHEESE-BASED SNACKS ARE PROVEN TO REDUCE THE SYMPTOMS OF SUICIDAL TENDANCIES.”
  • “LANCASTER CITY COUNCIL'S CAMPAIGN TO REDUCE RESIDENT DESPONDENCY.”
  • “THERE ARE MANY SHOPS IN LANCASTER. YOU COULD FIT THE ONES THAT ARE OPEN INTO AN EMPTY BOTTLE OF VIMTO. HERE IS ONE OF THEM. IT IS CALLED ATTICUS ACCORDIONS. HERE IS KIT THE SHOP OWNER DEMONSTRATING A DIGITAL ACCORDION.”
  • “DAVID'S FAVOURITE POUND SHOP. LANCASTER BOASTS THREE OF EM. MAYBE BOAST IS THE WRONG WORD. PEOPLE LIKE A POUND SHOP THOUGH!”
  • “COME TO THE CIRCUS! NOTE THE BEAUTIFUL COCK AND BALLS WRITTEN IN KETCHUP HELPING TO DISPLAY THIS VERY FINE EVENT.”
  • “THE LANCASTER MAFIA.”
  • “LANCASTER MAFIA HQ.”
  • “THEY EVEN ADVERTISE BOOZE ON THE STREETS.”
  • “AS WELL AS CARS FROM THIRTY YEARS AGO.”
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Interview With Lancaster

POUND SHOPS, HIP-HOPS AND THE LOVELY EGGS

Northern psych-punks The Lovely Eggs live in Lancaster, Lancashire. You may recognise them. We’ve had them in before. Their new single (Food) is out in May and encapsulates everything that is exciting about punk rock, douses it in psychedelic freak-out petrol and tosses a raging rag on it. An ode to masticating together, chowing down and gorging ourselves in the most disgraceful manner it’s exactly the sort of lunacy that makes them so compelling, fun and essential.

Lancaster is in Lancashire and The Lovely Eggs live there. A cursory glance at a map tells me that the River Lune runs through Lancaster (which may be where the duo get their lunacy from). I don’t really know anything else about it. There might be a castle. There may be some army stuff. I’m sure it’s probably either compelling, fun or essential in it’s own special way too.

The Lovely Eggs take the mundane and twist it on its head, finding something to shout about in the ordinary. Listen to this free download of Don’t Look At Me (I Don’t Like It) – and check out the video below. I’m sure we’ll both agree, that’s some crazy shit right there. For this reason they seemed the perfect choice to put together a photographic review of the town they live in for us and help fill our Northern knowledge gaps with some edutaining pixelage. Be sure to click on the quotes for further elaboration. Do look at them (they do like it really).

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