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  • “DEAR PHOTOGRAPHZ. REMEMBER WHEN WE USED TO STUFF EACH HAND IN TO A LOAF OF BREAD AND THEN PUNCH EACH OTHER IN THE FACE? WE CALLED IT ULTIMATE BREADIATORS. SOMETIMES YOU’D WEAR A BIN BAG AS A CAPE AND I’D STICK CUPS TO MY SHOES SO THEY LOOKED LIKE ROCKET BOOTS”
  • “DEAR PHOTOGRAPHZ. THERE WAS A DUCK SITTING ON THIS. BUT IT MOVED”
  • “DEAR PHOTOGRAPHZ, SOMETIMES YOU NEED A HUG. SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO PUNCH A TREE WITH A CHICKEN KEBAB”
  • “DEAR PHOTOGRAPHZ. REMEMBER TELLING TIMMY THAT IF HE LICKED THE PYLON HE’D GET ATOMIC NUTS?”
  • “DEAR PHOTOGRAPHZ, I MISS PLAYING ‘CHEW THE STONE’”
  • “DEAR PHOTOGRAPHZ, A FAT KID TRIED TO RIDE YOU LIKE A HORSE. IT BROKE YOUR SPINE, SO WE PUT YOU IN ONE OF THOSE DOG WHEELCHAIRS THAT LOOKS LIKE A SHOPPING TROLLEY. WE CALLED YOU ROBODOG”
  • “DEAR PHOTOGRAPHZ. YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME. LITERALLY. MY MUM MADE ME TAKE MY KNICKERS OFF BEHIND A HOTDOG STAND AND WIPE MY BUM WITH ONE OF MY SOCKS”
  • “DEAR PHOTOGRAPHZ. YOU ARE WHERE MUM PUT YOUR CLOTHES AFTER YOU HAD SEX WITH AUNTIE JEAN IN THE HARVESTER CARPARK”
  • “DEAR PHOTOGRAPHZ. REMEMBER THAT WEIRD MAN WHO USED TO DRESS HIS HORSE UP AS A GIMP? HE SMOKED NEWSPAPER AND MADE HATS OUT OF WASHING UP SPONGES”
  • “DEAR PHOTOGRAPHZ. SHE ALWAYS LOVED THE OCEAN. THE OCEAN, AND CUTTING OFF CHUNKS OF YOUR HAIR WHILE YOU WERE ASLEEP AND STICKING THEM TO THE BUTTER”
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Interview With Dear Photographz

TAKE A CRAP OLD PHOTO AND MAKE IT INTO A CRAPPIER NEW PHOTO

I’m sure by now you’ve all seen Dear Photograph and its sappy, soppy, pixelated musings on loss, misery, death, more loss, more misery and even more death. Well – though we do seem to be showing some symptoms of the clinical depression which is intrinsically associated with the onset of hibernation, choking on the dying embers of summer and being psychologically, physically and economically destitute – we’ve neither the time nor the inclination to coat ourselves in misery and lament the death of almost everything. We’re not wallowers. If we were we’d have been born with wellies on. Right? Instead we’ve been getting our kicks, rejuvenating our smiles and rupturing our internal organs with rib-rattling belly-laughs through the sardonically brilliant and completely irrelevant Dear Photographz.

Dear Photographz is the brainchild of Nell Frizzell, a woman so clever that they put loads of double letters in her name and made it sound like a superlative Snoop would use. The idea is simple. Just take a picture of a picture from the past in the present. Or, if you prefer, take a crap photo and make it even crappier through the medium of irony, sarcasm, smut and general hilarity. It’s  like a caption competition for your old memories. Not sure what I mean? We asked Nell to send us her ten favourite photographz from the site along with their accompanying captions – which you’ll need to read to achieve enlightenment (or more accurately unlightenment with a side order of chuckle). You’ll find that not only will these works of art take you on a journey through your formative years and murky past, but they’ll simultaneously restore your waning faith in irrelevance and put a super-huge smashing smile on your beardy booze-hole.

If you like what you see here then you can delve deeper into the terminally hilarious world of Dear Photographz via their website and stay updated via Twitter. Oh – and why not have a go at submitting something yourself. Surely everyone has a shoebox full of analogue pictographs that are just crying out for a remix. Come and join the pixel party. This dear friendz, is your canvas and your gallery. Go wild. Run amok.